Recently I discovered a real life changing revelation in my own life. SO prepare yourselves for something which has actually been ground-breaking for me recently. Just over a week ago, I was hanging out with one of my good friends Sheilagh, and we were talking about life and sharing an absolutely delicious yoghurt breakfast and a cup of coffee. We were on the topic of studies (which I've discovered is the main topic for discussion when one is in the middle of studying), I was telling her about how recently I have been really frustrated with school---I have been working so hard and studying so much for each of my classes, BUT no matter how much I studied or put time into my learning, my grades have not been showing all of my hard work.
I continued telling her that in order for me to actually understand what is going on in class, regardless of my attendance record, or number of notes, I have to re-read everything from the entire unit of class in order to LEARN and understand exactly what I had been 'taught in class'. It seems that I learn so much better when I teach my self! (which is the much longer way of studying). When I was still living in the UK I had to take a correspondance course in order to graduate high school, and when I finished that course, I had a better mark than I did in many of the classes I sat in during my time at school.
So when I was telling all of this to Sheil, she listened oh so patiently, and then when I finished, she said to me...'Alli, you know what it is? You learn like that because you were homeschooled!' (now in the past I have heard my fare share of homeschooler jokes...but when she said this---it was complete honesty--it was true---I WAS homeschooled!) I initially giggled a little bit, due to my prior knowledge about homeschooler jokes...but then when she explained it, it made utter and perfect sense!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with my mind! (which in the past I have often wondered why it takes me so much longer to 'get' what people often get right away IN class---when I have had to go home, re read it all--re read it again, and THEN understand it) Its just how I'm wired! When I was initially learning, I sat at my kitchen table and taught myself my classes. (grades 1-4) I know that is not a substantial amount of time, but it WAS the initial learning years for me.
It was honestly a moment of clarity. I was homeschooled. It was how I was wired. My mind has completely been at ease the past few weeks since that convo. I have sat in class and felt free. Yes I know I need to pay attention in class nevertheless, BUT knowing that sitting in a class is not my initial learning style, I have felt less stressed to try and cram all of my class notes into my memory. (when they do not stay there anyway!)
I feel intelligent again.
I feel free from having to try and tell my self that I'm dumb, or that I'm worthless. When I know those things are all lies.
I feel somewhat confident in myself and how I learn, and the knowledge I attain.
I only have two weeks left to my classes and then I have two weeks in between my last days of classes and my finals. Which hopefully will give me the time I need to 're-teach myself' once again the information from class over this past semester in order to pass the classes I am currently taking. BUT now I have this new confidence in myself. I cannot boast in this confidence, but it is confidence nevertheless.
thank you sheil for a moment of clarity---which has completely changed my perspective on my learning and my homeschooled brain.
I hope you all have a brilliant day! And that you learn something new about yourself today. Or maybe even better...that you are able to say something to someone that will completely change their mental view of themselves.... you could be the vessel for life changing news for someone in your life without even knowing it!! (or maybe someone has been that person to you---you should thank them for it!)
have a brilliant spring day!
-alli
photo 1: Peggy's Cove Nova Scotia...I love the Ocean. (if you haven't seen the ocean...you have to! it is incredible)
photo 2: I was working on a paper today...and Jessie decided she didn't want me to do it by myself...and she ended up practically on the computer its self, trying to steal all of my attention.
photo 3: I was having fun one day by myself with a pair of dad's old bi-focals. i thought the photo matched the title of my blog today perfectly.
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